@Association of Protecting Exotic Species CIC , I had already concluded that downloading/manually installing apps was an option. I do have that level of access, just not sure I have that level of patience. Regardless, thanks for the suggestion and thanks for confirming that this is, in fact, a systemic/platform issue.

Sorry I did not see that you knew you could do that.

But I will say it literally takes uploading to the correct location, extract to that location, then go to downloaded in App Store and click install. I manage to get them installed within 1-2 minuet's per app.