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Darling you know what. Maybe I kinda miss something, but anyway. Let me give an advice.
1. Minimize all your CSS styles, and Javascripts (manually).
2. Enable the ZIP compression your hosting.
3. Make clear JS and CSS files,
4. Do not load a big pictures (like *.png). Use *.webp image files instead.
If you want PM me and I'll help you
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There's a few cache engines you can enable and lots of various optimisation techniques are used across the site, but there may always be something that's not configured correctly. Could be some huge blocking JS from integrated analytics system, or perhaps embed that loads heavy media, or cache isn't turned on still. Send us specific URLs that see to be underperforming and we will have a look.
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Natalie Lantsova ....., how to enable .webp support :
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Andrew I think you also mentioned a site with like 200,000 members. I want to see that one too. Is it a dating site or a general social network?